This post, for a myriad of reasons, will not contain a picture.  Elaboration?  I thought you'd never ask..

Once upon a time I gave birth to a little boy in Brazil.  Without getting political (I know everyone has different views on the topic, and I don't harbor strong opinions on the matter other than "do what works best for you and your family".), we had him circumcised 24 hrs after his birth.  Having had 2 boys previously, I thought I knew how the whole ordeal would go down.  I was wrong.  In the States, the procedure is done by the child's pediatrician.  Here?  The plastic surgeon.  Oh yeah.  Never thought I'd be writing a check to the plastic surgeon for my 1 day old!  Anyhoo, the procedure itself was a different method than I was familiar with.  The surgeon went on and on about how wonderful it was because it leaves no scar (never investigated thoroughly enough to notice one with the other two..) and the result is, and I quote, "beautiful".  No offense boys, but flowers are beautiful.  That.. well, I'm just not even going to go there.  

Fast forward a month and everything looks the same as I had expected.  Now, as a mother of 5 kids there isn't too much that sends me running for medical advise anymore.  I pretty much know how to take a 104 degree temp back into the safety zone, stop heavy bleeding, and keep a child with the stomach flu hydrated.  I also know when enough is enough, and help is needed beyond my abilities.  So when the plastic surgeon called and insisted that I drive across the bridge, in Sao Paulo rush hour traffic (we're talking HOURS in the car here people!), with 5 kids in tow, just so she could look at it and tell me what I already knew, that all is fine n' dandy, I had to decline.  The verbal approval of both myself and the pediatrician didn't satisfy the need to see the aftermath firsthand and determine if indeed it was "beautiful", and shortly after, we received emails insisting on pictures, so she too could put her stamp of approval on it.  I dodged the emails.  I dodged the calls.  I guess I thought that it would just go away if I didn't address it.  I mean, truly.  People get thrown in prison for that kind of thing were I come from!  Did she really expect me to photograph my little man's.. uh, little man?  Yes.  Yes she did.  So, in a very awkward mother-son moment, I did the unthinkable - I took pictures.  And then.. I emailed them.  Afterwards I quickly deleted the evidence and swore that if the US authorities ever come knocking on my door for exploiting my son I will take her down with me!  Lol.  Who knew a Brazilian circumcision would be so eventful??  Sorry Baby C, I swear it wasn't my idea..


  1. Oh my gosh. I am laughing so hard right now. Great story for C's future wife :)

  2. I'M CALLING THE AUTHORITIES! (Can't stop laughing!!) Poor C!!!

  3. ...and poor YOU!!! (I'm so sorry you had to go through this!)

  4. You know he's going to kill you for this post one day!

    1. I'm sure he will, but I couldn't resist! ;)